I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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