I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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