I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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