I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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