Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize