3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
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the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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