K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
youre lurking in front of me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize