Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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