drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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