I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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