This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize