Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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