i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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