i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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