ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize