dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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