her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
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Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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