Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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