He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
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My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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