you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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