They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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