ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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