best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize