We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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