im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
as a side note pls kill me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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