Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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