I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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