Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So much rum. So many feels.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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