don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize