The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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