I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize