I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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