Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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