I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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