Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
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