Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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