Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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