STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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