I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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