respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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