i think my mom watched the whole time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
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I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
tell me about the eggs
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