YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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