I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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