you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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