forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize