my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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