She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
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I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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