ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize