I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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