I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize