I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
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I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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